


All my dreams a broken (but my promises I keep)

by songsofbasingse



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, F/F, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I have no idea what this falls into, at least a bit, book 3 avatar, there is no self indulgence in ba sing se
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27932083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songsofbasingse/pseuds/songsofbasingse
Summary: Yue visits Suki in prison. The sky remains dark that night, but both their worlds get brighter.
Relationships: Suki/Yue (Avatar)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17
Collections: yueki week 2020





	All my dreams a broken (but my promises I keep)

**Author's Note:**

> My conribution to Yueki week, which I hope you will enjoy. I had this idea in my head for so long and now, it is finally here. Never would have published it without the event!  
> (I listen yes I listened to the moonshine sonata while writing, put it on wile you read for maximum impact.)

Even the sky was empty tonight. Suki was sitting on the hard floor of her cell, looking up to the small window.   
She had been trying to meditate, but the only thing she had archived so far was feeling even worse than before. 

“You know, I like it better when I can see you,“ she said into the heavy silence, still staring upward. “It makes me feel a bit less alone. And I am very, very lonely right now.“   
Suki shook her head. Probably this was it. She was finally going insane. Talking to the moon. Or, more likely, herself. She did not even know which option was worse.   
She had been trying so hard for so long to keep herself together. She had forced herself to train every day since she knew that it would help her focus, but it had gotten harder and harder to tell what exactly she was training for.   
In the beginning, of course she had though about breaking out a lot. Made plan after plan, went through possibility after possibility in her head. Only to then damn each of them inoperable. It was not that she minded a risk, but the longer her imprisonment here lasted, the clearer it had become to her that the only way out would be a way into death. And she was not ready to die. Not yet.

And then there was this small part of her that still hoped her friends would somehow come and help her break out from here. It was unrealistic, but she had to hold onto it. Even though that got harder with every passing day. Not because she was doubting them, but they did not even know she was here. Also, they probably had way bigger problems themselves. If they were even still alive. Suki had heard that Ba Sing Se had fallen to the fire nation. All the guards had been drunk that day from celebrating. Even the warden had displayed something that could have been called “a good mood.“ And there had been even worse rumors. Normally, Suki was quite good at shutting them out of her conscious. But now, in this strange moonless night, they started creeping back in with a force that they had never had before.

“You know, it gets lonely at the sky as well sometimes.“  
Suki jumped up instantly, moving into a fighting stance without any conscious thought. She did not even know who she had been expecting to see in front her, but all expectations would have been proven wrong anyway. In front of her stood the most beautiful girl she had ever seen. Only that she was not standing there but…hovering slightly above the floorAnd she seemed to be glowing. Suki had never seen a spirit before, but she was convinced that either she was doing so now, or had started having visions. Could it be…“Yue?“  
“It is a pleasure to finally meet you Suki.“   
The girl, if you could even call her a girl given the fact that she was a spirit, smiled. “I had wondered if you would recognize me.“

”Oh, Sokka told me about you. I mean, he told me about a princess from the north who he was supposed to protect. But who gave up her life as human to save her people. And became the moon spirit.“   
Suki knew that she was talking too fast, and that she definitely was not saying the right things. Not only was this very unusual for her, she also had no idea how to stop.   
“And the sky was empty tonight. So I figured that if I have a visitor who is very obviously a spirit due to floating and and shining in a white light, it should be you,“ she therefore continued, and then quickly added: “And I am very happy to meet you too. I just wasn’t aware you could-….“

“Leave the sky?“   
Luckily, Yue was still smiling. In order to avoid saying anything that could change that, Suki simply nodded.  
“I did not know either, but it seems that during new moon, I can.“ She shrugged.   
“I am still learning a lot about my role, but also my abilities. It is not like anyone or anything prepares you for this.“   
Her face changed as she continued, now with a certain sadness in her eyes and voice.  
“But I guess that is true for the most of us. No one prepared Aang to be the Avatar and fight the firelord either, but he is doing it as well.”

Despite her serious words, Suki felt something warm growing in her chest. She told herself to not give into it to quickly, but just could not help it.

“He is? So he Is alive?“, she blurted out, both afraid of and desperately needing the answer „I heard that Ba Sing Se was taken. And the rumor that Aang…“ 

Suki could not get herself to finish the sentence. She could not say that, not even in theory. But Yue did not need to hear the words to know what she meant anyway.  
“You are right that Ba Sag Se fell, but Aang is alive, and so is the rest.“ A small hint of her pretty smile returned.   
“And Appa is with them again, not least thanks to you.“

“Good. That is very….very good.“ Suki knew that good was a way to weak word to describe what she felt. It was as if a bit of the weight on her lungs had finally been lifted, so much that she could breath again. Of course it was not gone. The war was still there. She and her girls were still in prison. But now, there also was hope again. And the knowledge that it had not been all for nothing.  
“You know that because you are watching them from above, right?, she asked, with small part of her mind still skeptical. What if Yue was just saying this to make her feel better?

“Yes. I can see everything my light reaches.“  
“Wow. For someone who spends her day seeing walls and has to trust whatever gossip the guards exchange for news, that sound like a dream.  
“Yue took a while to respond, long enough to make Suki regret her words.   
“Yes, it is. In some way.“ She finally said. “In another, it is a curse.“  
“A curse?“  
“Yes.“ There was such pain in Yue`s eyes as she spoke that Suki wished she could cross the distance between them and embrace her. But she just stood there and listened as Yue continued: 

“It is not like there are only nice things to see right now. I do not think I have to tell you what the fire nation brought upon this world, you have seen plenty examples yourself.“  
Of course Suki knew what she was talking about. A picture of her own home came to her mind. How it had looked after prince Zuko of the fire nation had paid it a visit.   
“I see villages burning in the night. I see lines of smoke I see mothers crying over their children and children begging their parents to wake up, not yet understanding that they won’t ever do that again. I see so much pain, cruelty and grief. I see so many lives tossed way. And there is nothing I can do about it. Nothing but watch. And shine my light on them, hoping that they feel I am there with them.“  
Something else lit up in Yue`s eyes. Determination. Suki could not help but admire her.   
“Because that is what I owe them, and that is what I do. I see. I remember. I make sure no one dies alone, and no one is forgotten.“  
And no one would forgotten. Suki had wondered about when the whole world would have forgotten about her here in this prison more than she ever would want to admit, but now she knew the answer. And she had gotten it without even asking.  
“Of course, I then also just see ordinary people sing ordinary things and all their tiny joys. And most of the time, I am happy for them. But sometimes…sometimes I just wish I was one of the again.“   
Yue looked down onto her hands. It seemed like she wanted to say something else, but wasn’t sure if she should. 

Suki decide to take a shot in the dark and asked: “What do you miss the most? About being human I mean?“ 

Yue looked up at her again, and from her face and the speed of her reply Suki could tell that she had asked the right question. 

“Well. My family of course. And my best friend. And eating my mother seaweed soup.“   
She chuckled, a sound that reminded Suki of the flowing rivers in spring at home.  
“And many more of those tiny things that you just take for granted as long as your have them.“  
Yue looked down at her hands again. “And then, I also miss the things I never had in first place. The things that I could have done, but didn’t.“  
She sighed. “I kind of regret that I always did what I was supposed to do. I know it sounds strange, but I tried so hard to be a good princess for my tribe. I studied, I followed protocol, I even was going to marry a man I did not love. Of course, I did those things because I wanted to do them. I love my tribe. But I just never saw the other side of it all. That was least until Aang, Katara and Sokka arrived”  
.  
For a moment, Yue seemed to be lost in her memories, and Suki waited patiently for her to continue. 

“Katara had so much strength and righteous anger, and she just challenged everyone and everything with no hesitation. She impressed me by a lot. And Sokka was just…Sokka. He funny and smart and just..cared about me. As person. Not as a princess. I enjoyed spending time with him a lot, and it left some impact on me. Even though he seemed to be completely blind for social conventions or protocol. Or rather especially because go that.“

She chuckled again, and Suki now was convinced that hers had to be one of the most beautiful chuckles in the world. “  
Do you know how he asked me on a date?“  
“No, how?“  
“He asked if“ Yue paused, obviously fighting the urge to laugh, “if I would want to do an activity together“

Suki could not help but laugh. That really was a classic Sokka. Yue joined her in, and for a moment, things felt alright. For a very small moment, of course. 

Until Yue continued, again in a more serious voice: §And then, just when I was starting to experience this side of life, I was ripped away from it all. I am sorry, I am sounding completely self absorbed now.“

“No, I absolutely know what you mean.“ Suki protested, and it was the truth.   
“I was training to be a Kyoshi warrior since I was 8, and I have been their leader now for quite some times. Of course I take pride in that, and I love teaching the other girls and all of us supporting each other. And I believe that our cause, to protect our home and everyone else who cannot protect themselves from violence and injustice is the most important one there is.“   
She took a deep breath. What she was about to say was something she had never told anyone before. No one at home. None of her new friends. Not even Sokka. But she felt that now was the moment to do so.  
“Still, I have always had a secret list of things that I told myself I would once the war was over. Other girls from my town went out to dance while I worked on perfecting a move. I handed out food in a refugee camps instead of spending my afternoon in a teashop with friends. And I told myself that, once the work was done, once I had did my duty, once the war was over, I would do all those things as well. And now I am trapped here in this prison, not knowing if I will ever see anything else but brickwalls again.“

Suki looked Yue in the eyes and saw that she understood. And it felt so good to tell someone who did.  
“Not that I regret any of my choices. I just wish I would not have had to make them. I do not mind being a warrior. I just wish I had had a bit more time to be a girl, too.“   
“Don’t talk like that.“ 

Yue had taken a step toward her, raising her right hand and looking determined. 

“You will have that time to do that. You will get out of here,“ she said in a voice that did not allow any protest.  
“Say it,“ she then demanded as Suki remained quiet.  
“What?“

“Say: I will make it out of here.“

Suki wondered if Yue was joking, but everything about her attitude spoke against that. She decided to do her the favor, even if she knew that the opposite was way more likely. 

“I will make it out of here.“

The words tasted strange in her mouth. But, in a way she did not understand, saying them made them more real. And not just saying them, but saying them to someone. Someone who would care if she would stick to them or not. 

“I will make it out of here,“ she said again, this time with a firmer voice. Somehow, that felt good.Yue nodded and smiled a smile that alone would be enough to light up the sky not only during night, but also day. 

“And then you would have to visit the north! You have to see our spirit festival.“ Even though Suki would have believed it to be impossible, her smile got even brighter. 

”And our food is good, too! You can ask Sokka about that.“

“You know, I will visit the north. But only if you meet me there.“   
Suki grinned, around of her now idea.   
“Aang told me about the spirt Oasis.“ 

Yue looked first surprised, than happy. “That sounds like plan.“

“So we have a deal?“

“We have a deal.“ 

One more small moment that Suki just wished she could capture. And that ended way to fast.

“But now, I am afraid that I cannot stay much longer. And you need sleep.“

“Can’t you stay a bit longer? Just a little?“ 

Suki knew that Yue couldn’t. But sometimes the things you knew and the things you wanted to realize were very far away from each other.  
Yue shook her head, and Suki could see in her eyes that she wanted to leave as little as she wanted to let her go. Suki told herself to cut it. She was only making things harder fro the both of them.

“You are probably right. I just do not want to be so alone“

“I understand that. I do. But Suki, I am with you, always. Even you can’t see me. Please remember that.“

“Yue reached out, and Suki could nearly feel the hand on her shoulder. She wanted to close her own hand around it, knowing very well that that would be impossible. And even if it was, she did not even know if Yue would like that. Instead she just sat there, wishing that this moment would last, while the same time knowing that it would not. 

“Will you still come back?“, she finally asked, more afraid of the answer than she wanted to admit.

“I will. The next time I can leave the sky.“

“Promise?“

“I promise. Now sleep well.“

Suki nearly would have said „you too“, but caught herself quick enough. She wanted to think of something else to say. Something meaningful. But then, in the blink of an eye, her cell was already empty again.  
Only that it was not the same, hostile emptiness from before. It was still filled with Yue`s presence, her words were still hanging in the air. “I am with you, always“, she had said. And Suki believed her.


End file.
